Precious.

About one month left at Bethel.

This thought and reality crossed my mind this past week...and I'm not looking forward to it. I'm going to miss Caleb crawling, growing, waddling, crying, smiling, grabbing, walking(!), babbling, munching, sleeping, and talking. I still remember when Joe and Christie announced "they" were pregnant. About over a year ago, I think. And the joy. Then came the waiting--the gradual growing of Christie's tummy and the corresponding excitement that grew in me, in the whole community! What a beautiful time of expecting.

My date is coming soon too. At the beginning of August I am leaving. This will be painful. Like the opposite of a growing tummy, something deep and core in me is, even now, agonizingly shrinking. It's odd. It feels like my own child (if I had one) is slowly and tortuously being taken away from me.

In fact it is. Just as I'm typing this now, I realize my childhood--the years and memories, the places and people--at Bethel will be, somewhat, taken away. I'll no longer be at the place I grew.

I will miss Caleb more than I can imagine.